Today I was going to post something fun, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what it was……, it’s not uncommon, my life is one giant blonde moment. So instead, I’m going to offhandedly mention the super adorable backpack I bought today because it was on clearance, even though I just bought one night before last, and then I’m going to move straight to fitness. Now, you may be expecting a motivational story about how I like to workout, and practice healthy habits….When, in fact, that is most definitely NOT the case. I eat junk food like most people, and honestly the only workouts I do are planks and squats every other morning. I know, it sounds great, but my abdominals and gluts hate me for it, and so does the mirror, we’re not speaking right now, but that’s not the point. Anyone who knows me, knows I eat what I want, when I want, and even if you don’t know me, my hips say it all. But for some reason unknown to me, I’ve recently seemed to become very popular with the social media fitness crowd. I come home from work everyday, grab a snack, and scroll through anywhere between 20 to 30 follow requests, all from people who look like they live solely on protein shakes, and the need to look like the spawn of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Stretch Armstrong. Why do they follow me? I don’t know. The only fitness I do, is attempting to fit into my jeans after a week of eating a terrible diet. I’ve tried to fit a whole burger in my mouth (Doesn’t work). I play bedroom tetris, and try to fit more furniture than I need into my small bedroom. Occasionally, I’ll try to fit into normal society, too. The list is endless really, but none of it consists of the fitness these gorgeous beasts are into. At first I was almost positive it was spam followers, or fakes, but most of them are very active in their pages, posting live videos, responding to adds, and comments. Lots of them have over 25k followers, and only follow three or four hundred, and apparently something has given them all the impression that I deserve to be bathed in their buff attention. So here I sit everyday, scrolling through my news feeds, drowning in pictures of washboard abs, and perky posteriors, and as wonderful as that may sound, it really isn’t that much of a confidence booster, ya know what I mean? Although, if I get tired of of gym rats, apparently my dreams of being viking material have come true. Because, I’ve gotten twice as many large Scandinavian men with beards, and intimidating women with crazy muscles and tattoos requesting to follow me as well. I blame that one on my wild curls, and typically heavy eyeliner, but it’s nice to know if I ever decide to become a hardcore bearded Norse woman, I’ll have a group I can fit into, that won’t question it at all. That’s all for today, because the rest of my evening is scheduled for a self loathing session, maybe a shield fight, because I’ve got to keep my options open…..And possibly tortilla chips and salsa.
As always, have a good evening and make healthy choices….Or become a viking, and sit on a throne made of the skulls of your enemies…I’m kidding. Peace out, Lovelies.